Charlie the 13 Year Old Poser Satanist Episode 3 Director’s Cut

Third in the series up, and below it shall be. This marks the first appearance of Charlie’s senile teacher Ms. Geller inspiration for this character came from my high school biology teacher. He was so forgetful that it took him a few months to realize that the bell that rang 10 minutes into every class was not the end of class bell. He also called some boy Alice once. As well as giving us the wrong test for every chapter resulting in all of us failing. We never even dissected anything. Well here’s the episode.

Charlie the Thirteen-Year-Old
Episode 3 – Charlie’s School Daze

The school that Charlie attends is the same as every other school you may have seen or heard about. It has cliques and insane sadistic teachers. It has bullies, misfits, popular snobs, and all the other genres of the American student. As in every school, there is one teacher that is dangerously senile and extremely old, the type of teacher, usually female, whose age baffles even the best carbon daters. On this particular school day, Charlie is walking into this old senile teacher’s room. Not knowing what to expect Charlie takes his seat knowing he’ll have his old pal Seymour to see him through if things get too crazy…

“Hey kid psst what day is it?”
“Shhh Seymour be quiet you’re gonna get me in trouble.”
“Don’t shush me man what day is it?”
“Thursday it’s Thursday Seymour now will you please be quiet?”
“SWEET today is Taco day woohoo!”
“Seymour please be quiet you’re gonna get me in trouble.”

At this particular moment Ms. Geller’s selective hearing zones in on Charlie’s outbursts…

“Charles do you have something to contribute to our discussion on the invention of toast?”
“Um, no Ms. Geller not really and um weren’t we talking about the constitution?”
“Ah yes the constitution…well now that I’ve got your attention Alice, why don’t you tell me the constitution’s position on religion in schools.”
“It’s Charlie Ms. Geller my name’s Charlie and um the constitution’s position is…”
“Yes very good Thomas but unfortunately you are wrong. The correct answer dear William is that the constitution does in fact support religion in schools and with this in mind I will teach you a little bit about what years of religious conditioning tells us about life after death…”
“But Ms. Geller my name is Charlie and I didn’t even answer the question…”
“No no no Charles do not talk out of turn I will have to mark you down in my book that’s your third time today talking out of turn I guess you do not care much for the rules of the classroom.”
“What huh I’m really confused can I go to the bathroom?”
“Yes you may Kyle…now about heaven and hell…hell as you know is very hot kind of like a toaster oven…”

As Ms. Geller prattled on about something that no one understood Charlie put his things in his desk and walked out of the classroom, the period was over in five minutes anyways so he was just gonna hang out in the bathroom and talk to Seymour. At that particular moment the familiar crackling intercom voice of the principal, whom nobody ever saw, came on the P.A. system.

“Attention students. Students and faculty may have your attention please. According to this almanac here that I have been reading, today’s date has historically been one of intense snowstorms and accumulation. In light of this fact school will now dismiss so that you may make it home before the oncoming storms.”

With the magic words of school and dismiss being said by the principal in the same sentence, children began pouring out of the classrooms like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Poor Charlie had no choice but to be swept up in the crushing force of thousands of overcrowded students who were exiting the school through every door and window. Charlie was trampled, thrown, pushed and shoved; left unconscious at the foot of a stairwell. When he finally came to, it was several hours later…

“I hate snow days Seymour.”
“Hey kid do you think we can stop off at Loco Paco’s Taco Pueblo on the way home?”
“Sure Seymour let me just push my organs back in place. Okay let’s go.”
“Woohoo TACOS!!!!!”
“Sometimes I worry about you Seymour.”

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